Failure Didn’t Break Me, It Changed Me

The average human loves to plan. We plan our careers, relationships, finances, studies, vacation, and even the kind of life we hope to live. And planning is good; it gives us direction and something to work toward.

… But life doesn’t always follow the script.

Sometimes, despite doing “everything right,” things still fall apart. The relationship ends. The job disappears. The opportunity passes. The dream takes longer than expected or changes completely.

And suddenly, we are standing in a place we never planned for.

When my marriage broke down, I felt like a complete failure. I beat myself up, questioned everything about myself, and tried everything, even at my own detriment, just to make it work. When it still ended, I believed for a long time that I had failed at life.

For a long time, I believed that success meant getting it right all the time. That failure was proof I had made a wrong turn. That if something didn’t work, it meant I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or strong enough. But life and experience have taught me something very different:

Success isn’t about avoiding failure. It’s about learning from it.

Failure teaches us:

• Where we still need to grow

• What no longer fits

• What truly matters

• How resilient we really are

• How to adapt when the old way no longer works

Some of the strongest people I know are not the ones who never fell; they are the ones who refused to stay down. And I am proof of that.

Research on adaptability and resilience shows that people who experience setbacks and reflect on them, develop stronger problem-solving skills, emotional intelligence, and long-term confidence.

Remember...

Growth doesn’t come from perfect runs. It comes from recoveries.

You don’t build agility when everything goes smoothly. You build it when you learn how to stand back up.

So here’s the shift:

Reflect: What didn’t go the way you planned? What did that experience reveal about you, your needs, your strength, or your boundaries?

Decide: Will you let that chapter define you or refine you? Will you stay in regret or step into growth?

Act: Take one small step forward. Apply again. Try again. Speak again. Begin again.

If life today looks nothing like what you once imagined, hear this: You are not behind. You are becoming.

And sometimes, the most powerful form of success isn’t getting it right the first time; it’s having the courage to rise, adapt, and lead your shift anyway.

Yours truly,

Dr Kenny

❤️

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