Resilience Isn’t Born, It’s Built One Step at a Time

During my five-year PhD journey, I faced challenges I never imagined: juggling full-time work, raising two boys as a single mum, navigating a marriage breakdown, and living in the diaspora without a support system. There were moments I broke down, sleepless nights when my mind wouldn’t rest, and even thoughts of quitting. A wake-up call came when I was rushed to the emergency room with high blood pressure; it forced me to reflect deeply on what was happening in my life and what I truly wanted.

I decided that I would not let circumstances or other people’s expectations define me. I chose to fight for my PhD, my personal growth, and the example I set for my children. I committed to daily habits, sought support when I needed it, and kept my faith at the centre of everything. I refused to succumb to stress, negativity, or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Resilience is built one choice at a time. Push through, stay grounded, and keep your eyes on the goal.

Steps That Built My Resilience

• I held on to my faith in God, and daily prayer kept me grounded, hopeful, and focused on my purpose.

• I began exercising regularly to manage stress and maintain my energy levels, ensuring I stayed healthy through demanding times.

• I invited my mum to stay temporarily, which provided the practical and emotional relief I desperately needed.

• I stayed committed to growth by networking, reading, and earning professional certifications that kept me learning and moving forward.

• I practiced mindfulness by slowing down and prioritising self-care after my health scare, which helped me restore focus and balance.

Lessons Learned

Resilience isn’t about avoiding challenges, it’s about small, deliberate actions that keep you moving forward despite them. Each choice I made, each small step I took, gradually built the strength to overcome obstacles I once thought impossible. I’m not where I want to be yet, and I still have moments of doubt, but I now know how to navigate them and keep moving forward.

Reflect on where you are and what you are facing. Research suggests that self-awareness (honestly acknowledging your challenges and emotions), is a key first step in building resilience.

Decide on your next steps with intention. Studies show that goal-setting anchored in personal values strengthens motivation and perseverance, helping you stay focused even when things get tough.

Act consistently, even if it’s just one small step at a time. Evidence indicates that incremental progress, supported by strong connections, faith, and self-care, significantly improves your ability to cope and adapt during stressful times.

Resilience isn’t born, it’s built. One day, one choice, one step at a time.

We all build resilience in different ways. What’s one small step or habit that’s helped you stay grounded through life’s challenges? Share it in the comments; I’d love to hear how you are building your strength, one step at a time.

Yours truly,

Dr. Kenny