Perfect Is Out. Human Is In.

I had a conversation recently that got me thinking about something I hadn't really paid much attention to before. We were talking about how technology, particularly AI, has changed the way we present ourselves and our work. These days, you can take a photograph and remove every blemish, turn a few scattered thoughts into a beautifully written email, and create a professional presentation in minutes. You can even edit a video to remove every awkward pause, every repeated word and every moment you lose your train of thought. I laughed because, as someone who records conversations for a podcast, I know how tempting it can be to edit out every little mistake. Sometimes I listen to myself and wonder why I needed to say "you know" seventeen times to explain one simple point! 😂

That recent conversation raised a very important question. As technology makes it easier to produce flawless results, are we slowly becoming less tolerant of the ordinary imperfections that come with being human? And perhaps more importantly, are we becoming harder on ourselves because of it?

When Did We Become So Afraid of Getting Things Wrong?

Think about the last time you spoke during a meeting and completely lost your train of thought. You knew exactly what you wanted to say before you opened your mouth, but somewhere between the first sentence and the third, your brain decided to go on a little holiday. Suddenly, you are standing there trying to remember where you were going with your point. You laugh awkwardly, apologise and eventually find your way back. The meeting continues, everyone moves on, and life goes on. Except, of course, for you. Three hours later, you are still thinking about it. By bedtime, you've probably replayed the entire conversation and developed five alternative versions of what you should have said. Meanwhile, the people you were worried about have probably forgotten the whole thing.

I think many of us can relate to this. We put enormous pressure on ourselves to communicate clearly, respond intelligently, look presentable, make good decisions and generally appear as though we have everything under control. We want to sound confident when we speak, even when we are nervous. We want our ideas to come out perfectly formed, even when we are still thinking them through. When we make mistakes, we sometimes treat those moments as evidence that we aren't good enough, prepared enough or capable enough. I've been wondering where we picked up these expectations and why we continue to hold ourselves to standards we would rarely impose on someone we care about.

Of course, the pressure to be perfect existed long before AI. Social media certainly contributed to it, but so have our workplaces, educational experiences, families and the expectations we place on ourselves. Technology has simply introduced another dimension. We now encounter polished content almost everywhere, often without seeing the effort, mistakes and revisions behind it. When everything we consume appears so effortless, it's easy to forget that the process of creating, learning and communicating is rarely that tidy.

The Problem With Everything Looking Perfect

One thing I find interesting is how easily we can confuse a polished presentation with competence. Someone who speaks confidently and uses all the right words can appear more knowledgeable than someone who pauses to think carefully before responding. A beautifully written document may impress us before we've even considered the quality of the ideas behind it. And someone who admits they don't know something can sometimes feel less capable than the person who always seems to have an answer.

Yet when I think about some of the people I've learned the most from, what stands out isn't how perfectly they communicated. It's their willingness to explain something patiently, ask thoughtful questions, admit when they were unsure or approach a problem from a perspective I hadn't considered. Some of the most interesting conversations I've had have included plenty of pauses, laughter, interruptions and moments when someone has said, "Hang on, I've completely forgotten what I was going to say." Somehow, we've still managed to learn something valuable from one another.

This makes me think about what happens in workplaces where people feel they must always appear knowledgeable and confident. Imagine being relatively new to a role, sitting in a meeting with experienced colleagues and having a question you genuinely need answered. You look around, everyone seems to understand what's being discussed, and you begin wondering whether asking your question will make you look incompetent. So you stay quiet. Perhaps three other people have exactly the same question, but they are also busy protecting their professional reputations. Everyone leaves the meeting looking very confident, and nobody knows what's going on!

It's funny when you imagine it, but there's something important underneath that scenario. When people become overly concerned about appearing perfect, they may become less willing to ask questions, share developing ideas, acknowledge mistakes or seek help. And those are precisely the things that help us learn, improve and work effectively with others.

We Need to Rethink What Good Enough Looks Like

I want to be careful here because I believe in doing things well. I value preparation, professionalism and continuous improvement. If I'm delivering a presentation, I want to prepare properly. If I'm writing something for publication, I want to make sure I've done the work required. And if technology can help me communicate more clearly or work more efficiently, I'm happy to use it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve the quality of what we produce.

However, I think there's a difference between wanting to do something well and believing that we must never be seen making a mistake. One encourages learning and growth; the other can leave us constantly monitoring ourselves, worrying about how we are perceived and avoiding situations where we might get something wrong.

Perhaps this is where we need to extend a little more grace, to ourselves and to others. Someone stumbling over their words doesn't automatically mean they lack confidence or knowledge. A colleague asking a question doesn't necessarily mean they haven't prepared. A person needing more time to understand a new system isn't necessarily resistant to change. Sometimes people are nervous, tired, learning something unfamiliar or simply having one of those days when their brain refuses to cooperate. We've all had them. Some of us have them before our first cup of tea.

As our workplaces become increasingly digital and AI-enabled, this distinction matters even more. We can use technology to support our work while continuing to value the human experiences that shape how we learn, communicate and connect. We can encourage high standards while creating environments where people feel comfortable admitting uncertainty, asking questions and learning from mistakes. And we can appreciate a well-polished result without forgetting the person behind it.

Making Room to Be Human

I've been thinking about how much energy we sometimes spend trying to appear as though we have everything figured out. We edit our words, second-guess our contributions and worry about little moments that probably matter far less to other people than they do to us. It makes me wonder what we might do differently if we allowed ourselves to be a little more comfortable with being imperfect.

Perhaps we would:

• Share that idea we've been sitting on, even though we haven't quite figured out how to explain it.

• Ask that question we've been too embarrassed to ask, rather than pretending we understand everything.

• Take that first step, whether it's recording a video, applying for an opportunity or trying something unfamiliar, without waiting until we feel completely ready.

• Give others a little more grace when they stumble over their words, make mistakes or need extra time to figure something out.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that this is as much about how we treat others as it is about how we see ourselves. It's easy to tell someone that nobody is perfect, but do our reactions make them feel comfortable enough to be imperfect around us? When someone makes a mistake, do we give them room to recover, or do we make them feel embarrassed? When someone struggles to explain an idea, do we listen patiently, or do we rush to judge their ability? These may seem like small, everyday interactions, but they can make a difference to whether people feel comfortable contributing, learning and being themselves.

We have access to tools that can make so much of what we produce look and sound better, and that's a wonderful thing. But surely, we can still make room for the pauses, the unfinished thoughts, the questions and those occasional moments when our brains decide to take an unscheduled holiday. Because, at the end of the day, we can keep improving what we do without demanding perfection from who we are.

A Little Reminder

I've put together a short visual reminder of this reflection. Sometimes we need reminding that an awkward moment, a forgotten word or a small mistake doesn't define who we are or what w are capable of.

Download it here and keep it for those moments when you need to give yourself a little more grace.

Reflect: Think about the last time you made a small mistake or felt embarrassed because something didn't come out quite right. How much time did you spend worrying about it afterwards? Would you have judged someone else as harshly?

Decide: Consider one expectation you've placed on yourself that may be making it harder to learn, contribute or try something new. Perhaps it's time to give yourself permission to be a work in progress.

Act: The next time you lose your train of thought, stumble over your words or make an ordinary mistake, resist the urge to turn it into a personal failure. Smile if you can, correct yourself where necessary and carry on... and when someone else experiences that moment, offer them the same understanding.

I'm curious about something. Do you think we are becoming more accepting of authenticity, or are we actually expecting more perfection from ourselves and others?

I'd love to hear what you think.

Yours truly,

Dr Kenny

❤️

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