When Life Gives You a Truckload of Lemons

There’s a saying we all know. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what no one tells you is that sometimes the lemons come by the truckload.

My marriage ended, but that was never what I planned when I said, ‘I do.’ I then had to navigate the challenges of single motherhood, the emotional residue of a broken marriage, the guilt, the questions, and the loneliness that followed. At the same time, during my PhD, as an international student with no real support from my university, I often felt invisible; stretched thin across motherhood, study, work, and survival. There were days bitterness felt easier than breathing. I could have stayed there. I almost did.

Then something shifted. I realised I had a choice: relive the frustration or repurpose it. I could either carry the sting or turn it into service. So instead of circling the same painful questions; Why me? Why didn’t they help? I asked a different one: What can I build from this?

That question, shaped by the cumulative challenges of my marriage, motherhood, and PhD experience, led me to reach out, collaborate with other researchers and professors, and begin a project exploring how Australian universities support international students, and where support gaps quietly swallow potential. What began as isolation turned into inquiry and inquiry turned into responsibility. What looked like a dead end became a doorway.

Those lessons: about resilience, repurposing hardship, and creating community where support was lacking, became the foundation for Lead the Shift, the platform I now share with other women navigating similar challenges.

This is what making lemonade looks like in real life; not pretending the lemons are sweet but choosing how you will use them.

What This Season Taught Me

This season taught me a few important truths.

• Resentment is heavy; purpose is lighter. Bitterness wanted me to keep score. Purpose invited me to keep going.

• Support isn’t always where you expect it. When the place you thought would help doesn’t, you can build a new table and invite others to sit with you.

• You can make meaning while it still hurts. Healing and building are not enemies. Sometimes, they hold hands.

• From “Why me?” to “What now?” I learned to move from reaction to response, from the urge to shut down to the courage to stay open. That shift didn’t erase the hardship, but it redeemed it. It turned my experience into a lens, my pain into data, and my voice into a bridge for others who feel unseen.

This is Lead the Shift. Not waiting for a perfect environment, not waiting for permission, not waiting to “feel ready.” It’s choosing growth right in the middle of the mess.

If You Are Holding Lemons Right Now

Maybe your story didn’t go to plan either. Maybe you are navigating single motherhood, a hard degree, a complicated job, or a system that doesn’t see you. I’m not here to hand you a slogan. I’m here to tell you that there is still a way to build.

Reflect: Where are you carrying resentment? What’s the truth beneath it: grief, disappointment, exhaustion? Name it.

Decide: Replace “Why me?” with a more purposeful question. What can I build from this? Who can I collaborate with? What would move this forward by 1%?

Act: Take a tiny, brave step. Send the email. Ask for the meeting. Sketch the project. Share your idea with someone who can help shape it.

To the Woman Who Feels Unseen

You don’t have to deny the sour to create something sweet. You can acknowledge the sting and still choose a response that serves your future. Your shift won’t always look like triumph; sometimes it looks like one clear decision on a tired, ordinary day. Make something of it because you are free: Free to create, to collaborate, to lead, and to become.

Your lemons are not the end of the story.

They are the beginning of your recipe.

Yours truly,

Dr Kenny

❤️

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs courage today. And if you are an international student in Australia (or you mentor them), I’d love to hear your experience; your voice can shape the project we are building next.

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